So, I got chosen for probation. Prefects.
Which i'll have to resign my post as a kt.
I remembered for the first few months, I actually thought of giving up being a KT, I was so stressed out. Most KTs will have this particular thought that cross their minds, to be fair.
But the reason I'm still here wearing this badge, is because there's something that's pulling me back: The 38 of you. I care too much, too much, to actually let go.
And I was really, really glad to say that, I have no regrets. I might look frustrated at times -I AM!!-, but I enjoy being your leader. I've learned a lot, more than I could possibly imagine, from every one of you.
From someone who couldn't even draw a straight line on the board on the first day of school, I can draw a not-so-crooked line now. I've learned to be a better friend, a better person. I've learned to become more of a team player, and I became more decisive.
I can't say I'm perfect though.
I'm talkative,
I'm loud,
I'm crazy,
I forgot to bring my books too,
Sometime I didn't even do my homework!
And I actually got 13 marks for my pebel for Geography.
I'm trying to change though. I'm a human, and that's what makes me imperfect. They say imperfection is perfection, which means I'm perfect? HAHAH. Don't mind me. But I guessed I only succeeded in...40%?
Whenever someone told me I'm a great KT, I was happy. Contented. It might be something small and insignificant for you to say, but it's something important to me. But no, it wasn't a moment of glory for me; it was a moment that gives me confidence. Confidence that I'm doing the right thing all the time.
.....
Am I?
Many wondered why I decided on being a KT. DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I WANNA BE A PREFECT. I'm not that shallow. Partly because no one volunteered to do so, but mostly,
I wanna try something new. A new change for me, and truly find out who I really am.
I can't say I did in the end. But I can definitely say that, the shy me who used to be afraid in voicing out my opinions -hard to believe, huh? :p- , has changed into someone who has more of an attitude.
Maybe it's fate that leads me to be a kt. I won't be here, wearing this badge like a maid, if there's someone who actually volunteered to be a kt before hand.
And I'm glad.
Maybe you guys will be happy. No more naggings, no more lectures, no more stupid, controling kt. But I've never ever meant to control anyone's thinking here, never. I'm just being myself, too kehpo to actually not care bout anything at all.
But I don't really mind though. Maybe the only regret I have, is that I'm not fully able to unite everyone.
Hell, i will cry when the day finally comes. (:
Being a KT makes me who I am now, and it means a lot more to me.
Thank you. For giving me a chance to be your KT, to be your friend, to be who I am now. Thank you. Again.
Sinyun'
Off to singapore; don't miss me too much. :D